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“Now, stand before me. Turn around. Bend over.” “What are you going to do, sir?” “I said don’t ask questions.” “Yes, sir.”

“Do you like my finger in your hole?” “Yes, sir.”

“You would, an inferior little nothing like you.” “Yes, sir.”

“Now, get over on the bed.” “Yes, sir.” “Lie back.”

“What are you going to do, sir?”

“Didn’t you hear me when I told you not to ask questions?”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Now, I’m going to fuck you, even though you’re inferior to me.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“My cock is too good for your pussy, but I’m going to put it inside you anyway. Once my golden cock is inside you, you’ll feel as though you’re almost as good as I am.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Do you like that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t an inferior being like it?”

The game can have as many variations as the temperamerits and limitations of the couple allow. At first it may seem awkward, but if the players stay with it they will be rewarded. All narcissistic couples benefit from playing this game, because it enacts both their grandiosity and the feelings of low self-worth for which the grandiosity overcompensates.

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“Do you want me?” she asks.

“Do I want you?” the husband may ask in surprise. “Yes. Yes, I do want you.”

“How much are you willing to pay?” “Pay?”

“Yes. I’m for hire.”

“You’re for hire? What are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m a hooker. I’m your hooker for a night.” “Are you serious?”

“I’m dead serious. Care to sample my goods?” She flashes a breast.

“You’ll do anything I ask?”

“Yes. Within reason, that is. And for a price.”

“What’s the price?”

“That depends on what you want. Straight sex is $200. If you want something extra, that’ll cost you more.” “Extras? Like what?”

“Well, like if you want a striptease first. Or if you want me to do something unusual—play out some fantasy.” “Hmmm.”

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll throw in the striptease for free.” “That’s nice of you.” “So, do we have a deal?”

“I guess so. I’m not sure what you’re up to, but I think I’m going to like it.” “That’ll be $200.” “I have to pay you now?”

“I prefer that clients pay up front. That way there’s no problem later. Not that I don’t trust you.” “I understand.”

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“Yes, dear, it’s very stupid—but here I’ve come to rescue you. Would you please just let me rescue you? Please, just this once? I promise I won’t hurt you. I know it’s stupid and silly, but please let me be your fairy godfather and see what happens. What’s up? Nothing’s up. I’m just trying something— okay? Just lie back. That’s right. Fairy goddaddy’s going to make it all better. Sure he is. Lie back and relax.”

As in the previous game, depending on the nature of her depression and on whether or not she has been prepped for his routine, he will take one of three approaches: (1) The understanding approach: “Now, dear, talk to me. I’m here to listen to you as you’ve never been listened to before!” (2) The playful approach: “Ha, ha, ha—does that tickle? Well, how about that? Now, here’s a riddle for you: Why did the chicken stop halfway across the road? Give up? Because she wanted to lay it on the line. Get it? Ha, ha, ha!” He tickles her again. (3) The sexual approach: “How do you like your fairy goddaddy, my dear?” He wiggles and winks at her, touching his private parts. “Do you like his magic wand? Would you like his magic wand inside of you?” If all goes well, she will accept this offer.

The husband should use his imagination, embellishing the game with his own customized jokes, maneuvers, and the like. The game may be played more than one time. Just as a play gets better as it is rehearsed more, this kind of game improves with repeated performance, as inhibitions resolve. The first go-round may seem silly, and due to this may well be subsequently performed stiffly. But if both partners get into it and imbue it with their own particular rescue fantasies, the game will take wing and lead to better sex and better communication.

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“I don’t understand it,” she moans to me. “He seems to bring out the monster in me. He’s so good, I can’t stand it. He keeps wanting me to do meditation with him, implying that if I just calmed down, things would be alright. He thinks everything’s my fault—that I’m hysterical, and that’s why we have problems. If I yell at him, he just looks at me with a sad expression, like he’s thinking, ‘Why, God, have I been burdened with such a witch?’ When I complain that he isn’t interested in sex, he says maybe he would be if I weren’t so sarcastic to him. He always passes the buck back to me. I can’t stand him! I want to strangle him! I want him to disappear! I hate him! He disgusts me!”

What happens in such a case is that the husband is disowning his own aggression and projecting it onto the wife: “I don’t hate her. I’m not a hateful person. It is she who is the hateful person.” However, he passive-aggressively provokes hateful feelings in her by frustrating her. This is all the more galling because he is doing that while appearing to be nice. The passive is an individual—and, as we have said, it can be a woman as well as a man—who has a rigid ideal image that must be lived up to at all costs. This person must not harbor any hateful thoughts and must always be right and good. The passive husband in our example was convinced that he felt only love for his wife, and that if only she would calm down, everything would be dandy.

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It describes a harmonious couple—a couple in harmony with themselves, each other, and the world. It is a harmony that the ancient Chinese sages referred to as yin and yang, a harmony that consists of being (as the ancients called it) “deeply rooted and firmly stemmed.”

Let me close with a few disclaimers. This book is not just for young or beautiful people, but for couples of all ages and physical types. Sexual passion can be had by anyone who wants it. Age can diminish the sexual drive but does not eliminate it; only organic or psychological barriers can do that. Physical appearance can be used as an excuse to avoid sexuality, but behind every physical molehill is a mountain of anger, jealousy, or fear. And, although this book is addressed to heterosexual married couples, it can also be used by homosexual or unmarried couples who have a long-term, committed relationship.

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